Category: Dating and Relationships
I been through this particular experience with the first girlfriend I had. She did not like my friends at all and bitched at me everytime they called me up or wanted to come over to hang out with me. I'm not talking about opposite sex I'm talking like she hated my guy friends I hung out with not just the women in this case. I then I had to come up with a choice dumped her keep my friends or dump my friends and keep a bitch for a girlfriend. As to I enjoyed hanging out with my friends alot I dumped her sorry ass. I figured if she wasn't going to accept my friends then she was accepting me for who I was. Have any of yall been through this? I looking foward to what you all have to say about particular situations about such things like this.
Well, if she can't accept you have a life other than her, you don't need to be dealing with that. Everyone needs friends. I would've done the same damn thing. But I would at least give her a chance to back off by telling her that it isn't right and that i have friends too.
I did tell her that but you know how women are
I'm just hoping whoever I go out with next isn't such a bitch like she was
Hmmm. I don't know. I would give him time to get to know my friends better. ut if this doesn't help ... well, the last option would be to leave him. Yes.
I really hate men/women who don't know how to say nice things about their X-lovers. It's so disrespectful, insensitive, and very childish to say the least. It seems to me that she's lucky to be rid of you and I feel bad for the next woman who falls for you. Anyone who can talk like that about their x-girlfriends, can do the same with their current one. So how about you stop your own bitching and take your own sorry ass off and learn some respect for a change!
Woa, Michelle.
Two things.
First of all i agree with Michel. Ex boyfriends or girlfriends are a part of our life. Even if the relation ship with them wasn't what we wanted it was a way to learn how to be better and how to be more careful in the next relationship so even if we don't think about it they give us something good. The experience to act more carefuly in the future.
Also i have got this question for you. You say she didn't like your friends. Did your friends like her? Because there are ocations that friends don't like their friend's choice. So if they didn't like her i wouldn't blaim her of not liking them either.
Nikos
i disagree wholeheartedly michelle. i'm not gonna argue my point, i'll just give my two sense for what it's worth, and you can take it as you wish. obviously the girl didn't respect herself, much less chris if she didn't like his friends. if i'm gonna be with someone, i'd want them to get along with my friends as well.
If I disliked my boyfriend's friends, I wouldn't necessarily want to stop him seeing them, unless they were some sort of danger to him. However, if I didn't like his friends, then I would consider getting out of the relationship, because friends are a part of who we are, and if I don't like his friends, then there is a part of him I don't like.
Okay sexybitch86 how can you possibly say something nice about someone who hurt you? Answer that question. Another question that comes to mind is that were you there to fully ubderstand the events of what happened between me, her and my friends? Well I can answer that one myself, you weren't. I don't see where you go off calling me immature, disrespectful, and insensitive. I walked out of that relationship a winner not a loser. My friends are everything to me and if a girlfriend of mine doesn't accept them then she's not accepting me as a person. Oh and another thing there are plenty of women out there who'd want a man like me. I'm very sensitive, respectful, and yes immature I am sometimes but most of the time I'm mature. I think what you wrote about me up there was very immature and disrespectful on your part. This is all for now.
Here's what I think. First of all, your girlfriend or boyfriend may not like some of your friends for whatever reason, and I believe that is normal but he or she shouldn't keep you from hanging with them. Also if my girlfriend got jellous or mad because I hung out with my friends all the time I'd say it's time to dump her. Have you asked her to join you?
Troy
Yeah I did invite her along but she acted like no one was allowed to hang out with me but her and I found that selfish of her to say. I'm one of those guys who don't put up with being controled so I chose my friends over her. I just had to let her go. I was always in a bad mood while I with her knowing that I couldn't hang out with anyone without being bitched at. Now I'm a much happier person now that I let her go. If I'm with someone I want them to to accept my my friends as well as me as a person. I always told my friends no girl will ever come in between our friendship if she ever had a problem with us hanging out. I known my friends longer than her and everyone knows how hard it is to find friends these days and to gain their trust. She lived in a diffferent town so it was a long distance relationship. I think she felt insecure when I went out on the town to hang out with my guy or female friends because she thought I might be cheating on her witht the females I hung out with. In reality I wasn't and I kept telling her I'd never cheat on her but she seemed to never beleieve me. I kept hanging out with them otherwise no matter how mad she got. No one is going to tell me who or who I can't hang out with. I had a real good friend of mine named Vicki she really hated me hanging out with her but I never did anything with her so I didn't feel bad at all when I dumped her for my friends. I know she may have been through alot of bad relationships before and all but when I get with someone I give them my trust value only until they break it and hurt me. I think the insecurity got to her and made our relationship rough so I'm glad that's over and I'm a free man.
Wow! "sexybitch86?" You've certainly got a lot to learn if you're going to go around talking like that. lol This just shows how immature you really are. As for saying negative things about those who "hurt you," I stated above that I don't agree with doing so. I believe that it's really indecent and I just make it a habbit of not doing it. Like you said, I wasn't there throughout all that went on in your relationship so I couldn't possibly know what really happened. But none of the other people who have posted were as well. So how can you just expect everyone to be on your side if they haven't heard the other side of the story? I'm sorry that you feel this way about her and hope that you will learn to let go of the hate you feel towards her. So after all the insults you've thrown at me, I still wish you the best of luck and all that.
And to Chelsea who strongly disagrees with me, I wonder if you were ever guilty of saying negative things about your x-girlfriends? I believe that was all I talked about in my previous post so I must assume that this is what you are disagreeing with. I hope you never have the occasion of being on the other end of the insults. I've spoken with many angry x-partners who had nothing nice to say about their X, and I have always tried my best to discourage it. It gets really tiresome to always hear about the bitch x-boy/girl friend so and so had and I'm sorry that you disagree with me on this. But much love to you anyway.
Who doesn't say negative things about their ex's? I mean come on those are the people who hurt you and that's why you end up breaking up with them. I'm not going to sit her and make any sort of apology to this matter in account it's only natural to hate those who have treated you badly. You can call me immature for doing so or whatever but I stick to what I write up here on these boards. You can not sit there and tell me you have NOT EVER bad mouthed one of your ex's. I know plenty of other people who do that not just mem however everyone has their own opinions so more power to ya sexygurl86. I mean I didn't write this board post thinking that no one was going to come on here and not be opinionated about this. I knew someone would be. That's what I like about the Zone though. All you have to do is say something wrong and BOOM people are all over you like ants. Sheesh! People calm down!
if your BF or GF doesn't like your friends, that's all fine and dandy, it's when they start bitching about them for no reason that there's a problem. I for one, am not going to base my relationships on who my friends like or dislike, or whether a guy likes my friends or not. And it depends what an ex has done to you, how much you are willing to respect them. I respect my first ex a lot but my second, hell fucking no!
OK, well, firstly, I'm incredibly fortunate to have an amazingly supportive girlfriend who thinks enough of me to be nice and supportive and is willing to give my friends a go, even if they're not really her kind of person. Also, I'm not particularly fond of one of my girlfriend's friends, but I love and respect her enough to make the effort to get on with her. I would never put her in the position of having to choose between us!
And in response to bitching about ex partners and things. I personally can see that some people wouldn't have a good thing to say about an ex whilst others remain on good terms with them etc. I think it's wrong to judge others response to thier ex partners, as let's face it, the rest of us don't know what went on and how badly hurt people were by their ex. Christ, I'm the first one to admit I hold a grudge when me or someone close to me is hurt. But I think the bigger picture to look at regarding ex partners, irrespective of how badly hurt you were etc, is all that you learned from it. How it has made you stronger etc... let's face it, focusing on the hurt and making a point of calling him/her a bitch etc on any given occassion doesn't allow you to move on. And I think that was Michelle's. I mean, if I held a grudge and focused on the hurt and disappointment that everyone had ever inflicted on me, then I'd be forever bitching about someone or calling them names etc! I find it far more rewarding to try and find a positive, such as how I coped or dealt with the situation, and how it allowed me to grow as a person. For every person that has ever shat on you, hurt you, said something bad about you etc, they've made you a stronger person and made you want more for yourself! To sit and bitch about them at every available opportunity just makes you bitter, and lets them win!
DD.It sounds as if your ex was ultra possessive, I wouldn't expect the relationship to survive with that level of distrust. In time mate she would have driven all your friends away..she really needs to get some help with her lack of self esteem.
Thank you Goblin my thoughts exactly
No problem
i will say i agree with both. If she was making it impossible for u to be with your friends no that wasn't right and maybe the relationship would not work. How ever X's are people to learn from. I won't say i've never bitched about an x before I've bitched about eagle allot, but we also had tried to carry on a friend ship and it didn't work he just wanted to continue the relationship to hurt me more. Don't hate her just think of what can be different next time, and what to look out for.
I was in a similar situation. My ex-fiancee didn't want me hanging out with my friends. Ask Tremaine, she remembers this. It was nearly the end of our friendship. Anyway, I realized what was wrong, and we broke up not too lon after that. Then my most recent ex (not Jimmy) didn't like my friends either, but never stopped me from hanging around them. He had his friends, I had mine. I do think it's good if the significant other and the friends meet up though. Just because it's important to me to know who my boyfriend considers a friend. You can tell a lot by the group of people someone hangs out with. Of course, you can't judge everything by the friends. If there was a very good reason to be concerned about my boyfriend's friends, then I would be. I'd tell him my concerns. Maybe they did drugs, maybe they steal things. If I know that his friends might be bad for him, I'd say that, but not stop him from being their friend. <BR><BR>And about talking bad about exes...I think that everyone talks about their exes, but I try not to. It can be tiring to hear someone talk about their ex all the time. And it's rude. I mean you supposedly loved that person, so why now will you slander their name? I don't know, that's just me. But it's hard to not talk about your ex. SO yeah. lol